Does anyone else feel annoyed when invitees to your meeting end up forwarding the invite to others without checking in with you first? Or, is it just me? Maybe it’s just a Monday morning feeling. I guess I need to do a better job of setting the attendee options so that forwarding is not allowed.
I’ve been running and strength training a few days per week for the last few months. I’ve been feeling relatively healthy. This weekend my back seized up and I’ve barely been able to move. Not from exercising or being active. I was simply putting on my shoe. I guess I’m that age now.
He’s thinking, “this thing isn’t going to throw itself”. 🐕
The loneliness of convenience
When the pandemic took hold in March 2020 and we were all locked-down into a "shelter in place" mode, I did what many other people did. No, I didn't purchase a Peloton. But I did invest in establishing the foundation of a garage gym. At the time, the only piece of exercise equipment was a treadmill and a TRX system. During the initial months of the pandemic, I added a rack, barbell, plates, bench, dumbbells and some padded flooring tiles.
Over the past two and a half years, I've enjoyed the convenience of being able to step into my garage and get a good workout in without the barriers of driving to the health club, waiting my turn for a machine, or feeling judged for my relative inexperience or lack of strength.
However, the cost of that convenience has started to add up and it feels like only recently that I've become aware of the actual price I've paid. The cost I'm talking about is not the dollars and cents. I've already added up my total expenses for purchasing the equipment as well as calculated what I've saved in monthly membership dues. And, I'm happy to report that the payback period on my home gym investment has already been reached. But there is another cost that, for whatever reason, I never anticipated. I'm lonely.
Perhaps I would feel differently if I was still commuting to an office building everyday and working shoulder-to-shoulder with my coworkers. But, given that I've spent the past 2.5-years working from home, I've started noticing that my walk into the garage to start my workout no longer feels convenient but rather, isolating.
There was a time I perceived the effort to get ready and commute to the gym as a barrier to working out. Now I feel as though it would be a welcomed ritual. To go somewhere else, outside my home where I now spend what feels like 90% of my time, and be around other people. Maybe it's taken me longer than others (I am an introvert, after all) but I'm really starting to feel the effects of being in the same physical space for so much of my day, every day.
I don't think this feeling is about where or when I work out. I think the home gym is simply the context where I first took note of these feelings. I think what I'm missing is what at one time would have been referred to as a "third place". But for me, working and working out at home has left me without even having a second place. And, if the cost of having that place is an extra $50-100 per month, I'm starting to feel like it might be worth the investment.
Ten Minutes to Acknowledge our Humanity
I had a team meeting earlier today that started off with ten of the most interesting minutes I've experienced in a while. Depending on your perspective, the ten minutes could have been perceived as "wasted" or "unproductive" time since it wasn't necessarily "on topic" or on our meeting agenda. However, I believe they were ten of the most important minutes of my day. And it all happened because, in a time and place that was reserved to discuss work, someone decided to ask a personal question and check in on one of our team members.
This past Friday, one of our team members had to leave a meeting early to tend to a family emergency that cropped up. So today, before diving into our meeting agenda, we checked in with our team member and asked how everthing turned out and whether their family member was doing ok. This led to a round robin of sharing with every other meeting attendee sharing (voluntarily and unsolicited, I might add) about the difficult and challenging things going on in their life. The context had been set for the team to align around our common human condition; the reality that the line between "work" and "personal" time is blurry at best and the reality that we all have things going on outside of our work that weigh on us and impact our energy, our focus, and our (emotional, mental, and physical) health. Most importantly, it allowed us to align around the reality that although our work is important, in the grand scheme of things it's not that important.
Although this was a very organic and authentic moments shared between peers, it made me think that I need to be more intentional to create the time and space for that type of connection between team members. Especially in this new virtual and remote working environment in which we all find ourselves. Not only is it good for us to remind each other that we're all human but it also provide the opportunity to foster empathy for one another and to encourage one another. It was interesting; after sharing that time together, there was a discernible difference in how team members communicated and engaged with one another. There seemed to be an extra dose of compassion and patience weaved into every interaction throughout the rest of the day.
I know for some, this "kumbaya" moment would not be a welcome addition to their team meetings but for our team, in that particular moment, it was a very fruitful investment of time.
The Importance of Having a Focal Point
As the father of three children in their mid- to late-teens, some of whom may or may not struggle with ADHD, the subject of "focus" comes up a lot around our house. To be fair, while I describe it as a subject of conversation, my kids probably feel like it's simply one of the many "lectures" they have to listen to on a relatively regular basis.
This morning while scrolling through Twitter, I stumbled upon the following tweet:
My instant reaction after reading that tweet was to agree wholeheartedly. It is a statement that rings true to me. But, I also realize for many, it might not be helpful without some additional context or practical instruction. For example, if I was to tell my kids they just need more focus, even if they agreed with that statement, what could they do with that information? Would they know how to increase their focus or what next step to take to increase their focus? Could they automatically will themselves to focus more? And, even if they could, would that be helpful?
Quite frankly, I think that just like you don't need more time, perhaps you don't need more focus either. Is increasing your focus on the wrong thing(s) any more helpful? Before worrying about increasing your focus, the more important thing to do is to establish a focal point.
While not discounting the importance of focus, I believe that what we focus on is more important and foundational to being effective and successful than our ability to focus. Having some criteria and a defined process for establishing our central point of attention or interest (a focal point) is a prerequisite to focusing. So, before worrying about focusing more, we should first ensure we have clarified where or on what to focus.
It's similar to how Christians talk about their faith in Jesus. Most believe it's not the amount of their faith that matters as much as it is the object of their faith. Perhaps a similar perspective on focus is appropriate. It's not the amount of focus we have but what we choose to focus on that is most important.
I realize that perhaps Parrish's tweet inferred this idea (of knowing where to focus and ensuring it's the right thing on which to focus), but in a world that communicates in bite-size snippets of information and thought, I'm simply thinking through the additional layers I would want to expose and discuss with my kids on this topic if they had seen the tweet.
All that said, Parrish's tweet hits home for me as it reinforces something I'm constantly telling my kids when they give the excuse, "I didn't have time." My common refrain is, "No. You didn't make time. You had plenty of time. You just chose to focus that time on the wrong things.".
So, yes, more time isn't what we need. We need to focus more. But let's ensure we're focused on the "right" things. Now is as good a time as any to figure out what our "right" things are.
Design the Life You Want
As someone who has spent the majority of my career in product, I'm familiar with the concept and process of "design thinking". In fact, a former colleague who attended the Stanford d.school was kind enough to share much of what she learned there with me and a few others through a series of design thinking workshops about a half-dozen years ago. So, when I stumbled upon the following Tedx Talk by Bill Burnett, I knew it would be well worth the 25-minute investment.
Bill is one of the founders of the Life Design Lab a Stanford and the author of, Designing Your Life: How to Build a Well-Lived, Joyful Life.
In this talk titled, "5 steps to designing the life you want", Bill discusses how design thinking principles can be applied to help you design your life.
Even if you decide to not invest the time and energy in following the five steps and even if you don't intentionally apply design thinking principles to your life, I believe there is value in adopting the simple encouragement offered at the close of the video.
- Get Curious
- Talk to People
- Try Stuff
I don't know about you but I would do well to use those three bullet points as standing "to-dos" on my daily calendar.